EARTHQUAKEEEE!

Work has been pretty stressful although I don’t really know why! It’s not like I have tonnes and tonnes of projects piled on me. I think it’s just the environment itself, it feels like everyone’s watching to see if I’m gonna be a screw-up or something, since I have absolutely no experience in law. Damn lonely, really! Kinda miss Suntec and my Marcomms team, alot.

Anyway I think I had a breakdown in the office yesterday, in the form of uncontrollable laughter, right in front of my direct superior/the lawyer in-charge of me. He asked me to scan a document for him and I did just that with the printer and emailed it to him directly since the printer had sucha function. So after like, 5 minutes he called me and asked me to go into his room. And right after I stepped in and looked at the computer screen, I saw something which resembled a PDF file… upside down. Felt so stupid and I started laughing immediately! And for those of you who’ve seen me laugh my uncontrollable, red-faced, mouth and nose screwed up laugh which sees me having difficulty breathing – yes, that laugh. He looked so startled when I kept laughing and gasped in an extremely strangled tone, “Oh, it’s upside down!” I think my laughing fit lasted all of 4 minutes and I had to swallow my laughter for awhile in order to attempt a dignified exit from his room. And I felt really, really retarded after I calmed down. Like, 15 minutes later since I had a second laughing fit while on the phone with Shawn.

That aside, we felt this earthquake thingy at 6ish in the office today! And I swear everyone panicked and hurried out of the building! We had to wait for the lift for like, 15 minutes before we managed to get on the 3rd one, and when we got to the ground floor I saw almost everyone from the building congregating outside the building. Wanted to take the stairs down but we were on the 29th floor and I decided against it after whining to Shawn and the both of us decided after I climbed all the way down I’d prolly not have the energy to go gymming already! Well, anyway, we ended up safe and sound, and the building didn’t collapse on us, as evident from this post.

Okay, bedtime!

PMS

Work yesterday was traumatising, and somehow it felt like with the F1 weekend rolling around, all the retards and drunkards and fucked up idiots roll out to play too! :/ And it just so happened that I’ve been PMS-ing so there goes my tolerance for all things stupid! But seriously? Yesterday night was… beyond words.

First, I walked in on two gays fucking. Okay lah, not really fucking FUCKING. But they were taking five thousand years in the toilet and this erhm, drag and I banged on the toilet doors and rattled the doorknob to hurry them. So, out walked one guy and I confidently walked into the cubicle… into another guy! No doubt left that they were fucking because what the hell would two guys be doing in a cubicle for like, so damned long right?! Thank goodness I inspected the toilet seat because, surprise surprise! It was wet and glistening. I swear I cringed while wiping it off please! WALAO EH. Had to spread toilet paper on the seat before I dared to use it and after I was done the toilet paper was stuck to the seat thanks to the stickiness of cum (why the hell does it have to be so sticky anyway) and I had to peel it off. We should totally have toilet attendants or something to prevent two people from entering one cubicle and using it for the wrong reasons man! (That is, unless I’m the one using it with someone else… HAHA.)

And as though that (along with two other absolutely stupid fucktards who refused to take a tag when depositing their bags) was not enough, this drunk asshole came in and deposited his bag and went into some sorta trance in front of me. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, swayed his upper body in a circular motion for like, three times and put his hands together in the form of a prayer and repeated the entire cycle several times. Really crazy lor! And when he was done he stared at me and went “OMG you actually did that? The whole *does inhaling and praying motion thing*?” Was so tempted to throw him out but I was stuck behind the counter dammit. Oh and guess what! That stupid fucker forgot to collect his bag when he left and when we were closing and checking through their bags we realised that his wallet was inside too. Good game he won’t be able to collect it till Wednesday serves him right! I would very much like to sneer in his face right now.

The last thing that happened was relatively funny and I couldn’t help grinning to myself because this Asian guy was trying to get this angmoh to go for supper with him as they were leaving so he was like, “Want to eat? We go eat.” And the angmoh was like, “Okay, you eat my cock.” HAHAHAH WTF SERIOUSLY. HORNY FUCKERS.

And I should really stop saying “fuck”.

ADVANCED TGIF!

Work is killing me. Literally. Never in my life have I had as many paper cuts as the 23489273948 I’ve gotten since 5 days ago. I really wonder why the hell paper’s manufactured so sharp! Thank goodness paper cuts don’t leave scars (or so I guess), else people will think that I’m into self-mutilation or something!

Anyway, the one thing that makes me happy everytime I on my computer at work is this:

Pretty pink Firefox! Love it muchos! The only thing that spoils it is the blue bar thingy (whatever you call that). >=[ But whatever! It’s still gorgeous anyway. Colourful and happy!

P.S.
Okay lah, actually I quite like my job! At least I’m kept busy from 9am through 6pm, and while relatively brainless, it’s still something productive and makes time pass really fast! And the best part is, I get to go to court next week! WOOHOOOO! Excited!

P.P.S.
Ice-cream/dessert buffet with Shawn at Swensen’s tomorrow before work at Taboo! Every week should be a four-day work week. I LOVE MY LIFEEEEEE (although I’m a fat and clumsy hippopotamus).

NANAAAAAA

Sorry for not updating the blog the past few days! Here’s a little nugget on what I’ve been up to. Can’t come up with too comprehensive and wordy a post since there’s still tonnes of alcohol in my system and I can’t think coherently (which in other words means you’ll prolly be left wondering “WTF is she talking about” if I come up with a word-filled post!

- Work at Lee & Lee from Tuesday to Friday, and Taboo from Friday to Sunday night
- Dinner with Adorable and Louisboy on Friday night before work
- Punched Joel thrice on Friday (without fear of him retaliating, although he’s been bitching about it ever since), because he was sucha bitch. But then again, he’s my good friend so what to do! Love-hate relationship. >=[
- I got posted to the front door for work at Taboo this week! Much more entertaining since I get to talk (and play) with Bern and Shawn and it isn’t just me, my book, and I!
- Meet-up with Si Jie yesterday night before work for Ding Tai Fung and Indochine, and lotsa bitching!
- Nana after work yesterday. My first time to a Thai club and it was fun as hell! Best part was being able to smoke in the club. HAHA. And the truckloads of beer they shoved down my throat, of course.
- And last but not least, the extremely genius thing I did: Burnt my cheek (by accident) with a cigarette while I was trying to push my fringe off my face! Now I have this dark red/black mark there, and I’m praying like crazy and hoping that it fades away soon! Imagine if I get disfigured with the mark for life, WALAO. NO MORE BOY/GIRLFRIENDS/FLINGS FOR ME.

Okay, that’s about it! In case I get too lazy to blog and you start wondering as to my whereabouts (I know you won’t, but just let me delude myself into thinking you guys actually care okay! )… They’re actually all dinner plans though. Yes, yes. Glutton, I know! Date me out for meals (lunch from 1-2pm if you’re gonna be at Tanjong Pagar at that time, or dinner any day) please!

- Dinner with Ah Ma tomorrow! Hopefully we’ll be going for the xiaolongbao buffet which I’ve been craving for agesssss!
- Dinner with John the week after
- Debating if I should go for drinks and dinner with the lawyers at Lee & Lee and my dad the Friday after next! One of them asked me along but it feels like it’s gonna be weird if I hang out with them, you think? But then again, I’ll prolly only stay till 8ish-pm, so it may not be too bad. HMM. 1 more week to decide!

I FEEL LIKE HAVING THE ICE-CREAM BUFFET THING AT SWENSENS ION. Haven’t had sweet stuff in ages (x8942384372) maybe I should twist Shawn’s arm and make him go with me next (this) week before Tabs. OR… DOES ANYONE WANNA GO?!

P.S.
I know this post is a mish-mash of a hell lotsa crap but THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE REMNANTS OF ALCOHOL IN YOUR SYSTEM I’M SURE YOU KNOW.

Sixties!

I’m undergoing a MAJOR crisis! Can’t find the charger for my camera and it’ll suck if I don’t manage to charge it by tomorrow cuz that means no photos during the drinking session with the Suntec (ex)colleagues tomorrow! It’s really depressing when you can’t find stuff which you know should be SOMEWHERE, because your room is akin to a pig sty. And shut up. Don’t say that the problem will be solved if I get my ass down to packing the room cuz it only works for 3 months, tops. GAHHHH.

Anyway, today was a good day despite me crawling out of bed bleary-eyed! Made friends (if you can call it that) with the 4 interns in the firm, and had lunch with 3 of them! The bad news is, they’re all leaving by this week so it’ll be back to just my shadow and I next week. Headed down to Suntec to meet the (ex)colls and went shopping with Lynnette for more work clothes! Spent an hour at Sixties and burnt a hole worth $120 in my wallet. Hanging out with Lynnette is extremely detrimental to my (monetary) health, but whatever! Felt super nostalgic after that – it was just like the old days when we hung out after work and went for xiao long bao dinners. *sniffs*

Okay, gonna go wash up and (hopefully) sleep so I can spend tomorrow productively (reading Singapore statutes and judgements since I have nothing better to do =.=).

WOOOORRRKKK!

And I’m finally starting work tomorrow after 4 months of bumming around and 2 months of doing virtually nothing (except lie on my bed and watch drama serials)! Super excited! Can’t wait cuz there’s bound to be loads to learn at the firm. But I foresee with the start of this job I’m gonna be hanging around Tanjong Pagar like, 90% of the time!

Imagine this – Lee & Lee at UIC Building from 9-6 every weekday, and Taboo every Friday & Saturday night. TP’s so gonna become a second home to me! Anyway, if any of you happen to be passing by Tanjong Pagar, come look for me to lunch or dinner (on Friday nights especially) together!

Okay, gonna go wash up and attempt to sleep. Gotta wake up super duperly early every morning to pat concealer onto the tattoo. >=[ Not looking forward to that so… hair, please grow faster!

Wish me luck – hopefully I survive the day(s) without the need for a nicotine fix! Goodnightttttt!

Monsters

“When you’re little, nighttime is scary because you’ve got monsters hiding under your bed. When you get older, the monsters are different. Self-doubt, loneliness, regret… And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark.”

- Grey’s Anatomy

So true. Just that for wimpy people like me who are scared of ghosts, the monsters that appear in the dark are still the same. Bah. I mean, who the hell gets freaked out and starts imagining that ghosts are around just because Denny’s appearing to Izzie again even though he’s dead, right?! Okay don’t answer that. So maybe it has to do with the seventh month but seriously? I AM SUCH A COWARD, WUSS, PANSY, and feel free to call me all other names that describe a sissy! >=[

Sad. I am going to tip-toe downstairs (with my heart pounding and hoping that things that are supposed to be unseen stay unseen and refrain from jumping out at me), and make myself a cup of warm milk to calm myself down before going to sleep.

Incompetent turkeys (and other not-so-nice words not meant for public viewing)

Just finished bitching on the phone with the consultant lady from the employment agency I registered with to apply for the Court Officer position at the Sub Courts and we both came to a unanimous agreement that the HR people are pretty ****** **.

They were asking (her) countless questions about my dad and his position there and whether he was the one who referred me to the agency to apply for the job. Seriously? Couldn’t they just ask me those questions directly and let me answer them (with a PR smile plastered on my face) after shortlisting me for an interview? As though my working at the courts will in some way affect my father (or me) such that we won’t be able to perform our duties to our best abilities.

There’s more I’d like to bitch about but I shall rise above my annoyance and restrain myself. Wouldn’t wanna be arrested under the Internal Security Act for threatening public interest and their faith in the government, would we?

*gives hugeass, wide, teeth-baring smile*

RAAAHHH!

Dear Safari/Firefox Laptop,

You should really stop, and I mean STOP, hanging on me when I’m in the midst of watching videos. I mean it. In fact, it’d be good if you just stop hanging on me altogether! It isn’t very nice of you to use such delay tactics so that your system can get a rest, y’know? I’m really, really disappointed with you.

It’s not like I have been a bad owner. Hey, through the 3.5 years you’ve been with me I’ve treated you pretty kindly, don’t you think? You get fed crumbs from potato chips, seaweed, and all the other snacks I munch on while using you; you get additional nutrients from the ants which die under the keyboard; you even got yourself a new adaptor and battery! You should be appreciative instead of throwing frequent, unwarranted tantrums time and again.

You get me, don’t you? Stop. Hanging. On. Me. It’d be nice if you would be obedient and listen to me just this once, so I don’t burst a blood vessel or better yet, vent my annoyance on you. There’s no telling how much longer I can hold out on destroying you completely!

Okay, you know I love you.

Yours truly,
Alexis

Unfit.

Finally got my ass down to gymming with the mum and brother just now and I am DAMN unfit! Feeling hella miserable now because I have this niggling feeling that I am even more out of shape than I was when I joined NPKFC in poly Year 1! And it didn’t help that I didn’t dare to push myself for fear of “breaking” my back again. I swear it must be the smoking and lack of activity that made my lungs feel like they were close to bursting just now.

This, is enough prove that I really, REALLY need to quit smoking. I know I’ve said it 28947389247 times but it’s for real now! Gotta start getting back in shape if I wanna return to training soon! I’m feeling really apprehensive about it though, cuz this calls for hell lotsa determination and mind-over-body (x58489243798473) since both my knees are giving me problem as well!

Can you say “loser”?