Bangkok Update – FINALLY

Okay I’m sooooo sorry for procrastinating on blogging about BKK till now, but AIYAH. While it’s partly because I’m lazy and have no inspiration, the other part of the reason (excuse) is that I’ve been busy with work! The day after coming back I went for training till 10 plus at night and was so exhausted I just conked out. Then after that was thermal scanning duty with Justine at Suntec till yesterday! So you see… I have my reasons for leaving the blog relatively untouched!

Enough digressing. Well, as I suppose you guys should know, I was in BKK from 13 – 17 June. Can’t wait to go back there and shop more! The other 3 partners in crime were Joel, Sijie (Joel’s gf) and Dean.

Day 1

Taken while on the flight over. There’s only the three of us because Sijie the super hot air stewardess took SIA while us poor people took JetStar!

After Sijie reached 2ish hours after us, we left to rest a lil at the hotel before heading down to Chatuchak. WALAOOOO super hot I swear! But somehow Joel and I found BKK cooler than Singapore. Or maybe it’s just because it’s less humid there.

My roommate the bed-hogger. Hate it lor! Always rolling around and polluting my side of the bed. >=[ No wonder they say couples always travel together before they get married because I swear if Dean’s my boyfriend (which he’s NOT. NOT. NOT. *shudders*) I’d have broken up with him before the trip ended!

Sijie’s face after jumping around on Dean’s and my bed going “早生贵子!” WTF SERIOUSLY. Her jumping escapade was quickly followed by Dean’s “You also not virgin jump already no use!” HAHAH OWNED.

We found this ice kacang thing being sold at Chatuchak which proved to be a great relief from the suffocating heat in the market! As you can tell from the photo, I was dripping sweat. Literally. The weather was so damn hot that the ice kacang melted DAMN QUICKLY. Sijie and I ended up with super sticky fingers, arms (in her case) and toes (in mine) after gorging on the ice. But it was damn good seriously! Tonnes better than Singapore ice kacangs lah!

We saw many stalls set up in the market selling little furry beings! Sorry Ruby, none selling hedgehogs though there were plenty selling kittens and puppies. Super cute!

And apparently one of the sellers of kittens thought that if he bore a slight resemblance to a cat he’d draw more customers to his shop. DAMN GROSS PLEASE LOOK AT THE BLACK CAT HAIRBAND HE’S WEARING. We were all like WTF!?

After Chatuchak Joel the pussy boy decided his entire body was aching and was in need of a massage so we went to this dubious looking massage “parlour” beside our hotel! The couple was damn funny I swear! Look at how they were cringing (and giggling) while their feet were being scrubbed! And to think pussy boy was laughing at his girlfriend before that. In the end his reaction was worse than hers!

Here we are, dressed in the massage gown thing and all ready to be pampered! Or tortured, more like. We ended up feeling more lethargic after the massage! Well, so we went back to the hotel for a nap (on Joel’s and Sijie’s part) before heading out to RCA to club. I wanted to nap before heading out but Mr Annoying Roommate refused to let me sleep cuz he was too bored! Didn’t get more than 5 minutes worth of shuteye before I was prodded (and whacked by a pillow) awake by Dean who conveniently stole the cushion I was using as a bolster. RAAAHHHH.

Anyway, THE LEGAL AGE TO GET INTO RCA IS 20. And I was turned away because I was 5 months shy of being 20! Was so upset okay! We were debating whether or not to attempt to bribe the bouncer but were too worried they’d call the cops on us instead. We found another entrance eventually, so I used Sijie’s passport to get into it! The sad thing was that the other entrance was to Route 66 only, so that meant we were unable to clubhop. But whatever it is, CLUBBING THERE WAS AWESOME. Tonnes and tonnes better than clubbing in Singapore I swear! Although the rest of them preferred RnB to Electro/House which I like, I pretty much enjoyed the night! It ended damn early though, at like, 2.20am BKK time, the club was closing already! Sucked cuz I was just making friends with a group of lesbians there. HAHAHA. The butches/andros there are DAMN HOT. I like. Just that looking relatively andro-ish myself, I got hit on by a femme instead. *sniffs* Oh wells!

This is the toilet at Route 66. I know you can’t see the background clearly but their toilet redefines the entire meaning of POSH. Walao! It’s damn spacious and classy and there’s even this lounge-like place in the toilet where a band plays music and where we can sit down to catch some much needed rest from dancing our feet off! Singapore clubs should have toilets like that, SERIOUSLY.

Day 2 (inclusive of summary of Thai girl show)

The four of us squeezed in a Tuk Tuk on our way to Platinum Mall! That place is THE SEX. Being the sua ku me, it’s my first visit there. Sijie and I got quite a lot of stuff there and even had to ask the guys to go back first since they wanted to get some rest while we continued shopping. We had crepes from the basement of the mall and it was DAMN GOOD. Shit thinking about it now is making me salivate. >=[

We then headed to Siam Square after that. Siam Square kinda reminded me of Haji Lane in Singapore. No photos though cuz we didn’t get much stuff from there besides a corset-looking tube top! Sijie got the white one and me the blue! MBK for a short while at night cuz Sijie wanted to bring us to this Jap place there which closed down (and moved to Platinum, so we found out the night after). It wasn’t very much a wasted trip though cuz the guys and I got those cheapo Chang beer and Red Bull singlets!

And even though we wanted to call it an early night, the Tuk Tuk driver tempted us into going for the Thai girl show (or they call it “Ping Pong show”) near Patpong! We rushed back to the hotel, dumped our stuff, and headed down to meet the driver for him to bring us there. Let me digress for a bit the driver was damn nice (and the coolest thing is he’s a law undergrad)! He was kinda like our “personalised” Tuk Tuk driver for that night, ferrying us from MBK to the hotel, then to the Thai girl show, and back to the hotel again! I wanna be a part-time Tuk Tuk driver too! Okay end of digression.

No photos from the Thai girl show cuz cameras were not allowed, sadly! It was quite an eye-opener. They even had this live porn segment thing in which they showcased lesbian sex (which was so boring – just fondling of boobs) and straight sex (absolutely traumatising). The other three were laughing at me because I was cringing and trying my best to curl up into a ball during the straight sex segment! The positions were quite amazing though – the one that remained deeply etched into my mind is one in which the girl set on top of the guy (with his equipment in her) and she turned one round! Quite a wonder he didn’t snap into two.

Then the girls did their stunts. Wah damn jaw-dropping I swear! You’d never expect the female sex organ to be capable of such feats.
- This girl lay down on the stage and started shooting a banana up in the air. I swear the banana flew up at least a metre high! And the best part was you could hear the “pop” sound when the banana came out from down there.
- And the reason behind them calling it the “Ping Pong show”: a girl started shooting ping pong balls into this bucket thing in front of her! Although she missed quite a few times (one would expect that, cuz how in the world do you control where to shoot stuff from your vagina?!), it was still O.o worthy.
- One of them popped open pepsi bottles with the vagina too. And she poured water into it and when it came out it was some black substance which resembled Pepsi!
- Some old ah ma-ish woman ejected a string of razor blades that were at least a metre long. MAJOR OUCH. *shudders*
- There was this gangster-looking girl who started SMOKING with her vagina. She inserted two sticks of ciggs up and you could see the “inhalation”! I was… pretty impressed. But if you think about it I bet it’s super unhealthy lah! See ah smoking makes your lungs turn black, so imagine smoking with the anatomy down below – sekali the uterus and womb or whatever (am not a bio student please forgive me) all turn black how?!
- Oh and the WORST WORST WORST part was when this girl pulled a string of paper flowers out from her vagina and tried to hand it to the ang moh sitting next to me. Obviously he rejected right cuz it’s so unhygienic! Well, some “macho” guy behind me decided to reach over and take it from her. So pull, pull, pull…. And when the string ended while he was pulling, YAY GUESS WHO IT FELL ON?! NO PRIZE FOR GUESSING. Was damn grossed out please and I ended up showering and scrubbing myself under super hot water when we got back to the hotel cuz I wouldn’t wanna end up growing sores or whatsoever from her vagina juice!

Day 3

Chinatown for Sharks Fin, Bird Nest and super yummy crab claw! The crab claw was THE SEX. Super fresh and juicy crab meat with the bestest marination and herbs. We then each had two bowls of bird nest each! Good skin ftw!

CentralWorld after that and we went somewhat crazy at Naraya! I think I spent about 1,000 baht or so there. According to Sijie the price of Naraya items are marked up about 3 times in Singapore. Walao eh! But whatever. I got myself a handcarry, a super bimbotic baby pink makeup kit, a toiletries bag, a foldable box to keep my earrings in, and a pencil case from there. The stuff there are so bimbotic I LIKE! *runs around in circles*

Day 4

MBK again cuz the guys wanted to do more shopping there! Sijie went to do her nails and I got my hair done.

While waiting for me, the guys decided to get a hair cut too! It was really quite funny how they were so worried that their hair will turn out disastrous. “Shit what if I ask them to cut a little bit and they end up cutting all and leaving a little bit!?” Damn retarded please! But they were quite happy with the result. HAHHHH SEE UNFOUNDED FEARS.

After MBK we went back to the hotel to rest for abit before heading to the spa for massage. Joel accompanied me to Platinum Mall to meet the parents so I could pass them stuff to bring back for me! Thank goodness they were at BKK the same time as I was else my luggage would definitely have been overweight or something! Daddy gave me another SGD 150 to spend cuz I was running out of money and we still had plans for the night. Yayness!

Okay, so we went to this super classy spa and it was damnnnn good! 2348237982579284729085 times better than the sleazy one we went to on the first day. Joel, Dean and I did this sport recovery massage kinda thing (I forgot the exact name), and I went on for a body scrub thing which was damn good! Dean opted for another hour of foot massage while Sijie did 2 hours of Thai massage. We all felt damn relaxed after that (except for my back hurting like crazy maybe I should have listened to Lynnette’s and the doctor’s advice and not anyhow go for massages cuz it could affect my back adversely)!

Headed to Lumpinee Stadium after that. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK. AT. THIS. Fucking Muay Thai equipment galore please! I was so excited when we stepped into the Twins Special shop I couldn’t help prancing around a little with my mouth agape.

Wah leopard print okay! DON’T PLAY PLAY. Joel and I went kinda crazy in there getting stuff. But seriously, you’d be damn excited too if you went there!

After shopping at the Twins Special shop we decided to go watch the fights! The tickets were pretty darned expensive – 1,000 baht, 1,500 baht, and 2,000 baht (ringside). Joel and Sijie were still considering whether or not to watch but after taking a tour of the stadium they caved in and the three of us went to watch! Dean the spoiler went back to the hotel first cuz he “doesn’t have much interest” in it anymore! BOOOOO.

The view of the ring from where I was standing. Quite a lousy picture sorry lah! But I could see the fight clearer than as depicted in the picture.

This is like, the special area where the people bet I think! See the gestures and whatnot? They were yelling out bets and they’re damn cute lah! Whenever the fighters start kneeing they will go “OUUUIIIII” and all that. I just couldn’t help grinning when they did that. The atmosphere there was WONDERFUL. Seriously. Can’t wait to go back there again! And I was so inspired after watching the fights I came back and trained damn hard during Kickboxing camp and ended up with a perpetually painful back.

Day 5

We checked out of the hotel at 12pm and had lunch at the hotel before heading down to the airport at 1.30pm cuz Sijie’s flight’s at 3pm! After we sent her off we rotted at the airport playing Daidee, chatting, and whatnot till our flight at 9.15pm. I still can’t believe we spent so much time at the airport doing practically nothing. Touched down at Singapore past midnight and I wanted to get my Anna Sui perfume but THE PERFUME SHOP AT ARRIVALS DON’T STOCK ANNA SUI. Wtf right?! Anna Sui so popular and only Departures has it!? >=[ At least the parents got me the Tommy Hilfiger perfume I wanted so I didn’t end up too deprived!

Here you go – the stuff I got from the trip! At first I thought it’s 3/4 of what I bought. But after coming home and unpacking I realised that it’s A LOT less than 3/4! Didn’t take photos of the stuff I picked up from the souvenir shop, MBK, Twins, and Naraya. So… you prolly get the idea lah huh!

Here’s what I bought from the Twins Special shop at Lumpinee. My first expensive pair of Muay Thai shorts! Joel was trying to snatch the pants from me cuz it was one of the nicer ones, but TOO BAD THEY DIDN’T HAVE HIS SIZE.

Okay I’m extremely sorry for the super long (and picture heavy) post. It was a trip of many firsts and that’s not to mention my extreme bad luck throughout the trip (like, something bad will happen to me EVERYDAY)! Almost being banned from entering the boarding area on the first day (because of the knife I had in my bag which I forgot to take out), and the string stained with vagina juice dropping on me on the second day were only two of all the bad luck that befell upon me.

‘Nuff said. I want to go to Genting and Bali next! ANYONE ANYONE!?